One British Airways pilot proved that flying airplanes is more than just sex, drugs and rock and roll — a.k.a. turbulence — forcing the airline to cancel a 12-hour flight from Johannesburg to London after he confessed to partying hard hours before takeoff.


Mike Beaton, a married pilot for the Heathrow-based carrier, got a little too candid with one of his flight attendant pals last month, sending a series of text messages confessing to enjoying a crazy night out in “Joburg” with two dudes, a Welsh woman, and a “young Spanish bird” filled with sex, booze and cocaine.



“Welsh has decided that I should actually be her boyfriend — Spanish has hooked up with one of the two local lads and is having her t–s sucked on their sofa,” he recalled of the evening, noting that he ultimately ended up  “snorting coke off a girl’s t—s.” “I’ve been a very naughty boy.”


Unfortunately for Beaton, his friend was evidently less than amused by his tale of debauchery, reporting the incident to their employer. He was ultimately suspended and upon arriving back at Heathrow — a flight he enjoyed far from the cockpit — he was drug tested. He failed the test and was in turn fired from the airline.


“The alcohol would no longer have been found in his system, but the Class A drug was,” a source associated with British Airways told The Sun. “He will never fly again.”



So take it from Beaton — if you’re hungover at work, put on your biggest sunglasses and keep your mouth shut. Or better yet, don’t go on a bender before you’re set to operate heavy machinery.